OK. So I figured out the psychology behind this particular bout of the Blogging Blues. Actually, I knew all along what was going on, so I have some fessing up to do. Recently, there has been quite the stir on Greg Kendall-Ball's site over the topic of homosexuality and the church, specifically his series of four "Purity and Disgust" posts. Seeing as how I spend 8 hours per day sitting in front of a computer and there's not much else [constructive] to be doing on the internet, I thought I would jump into the debate. As is usually the case with things I do, I became super self-conscious/defensive about my comments and ideas. This unhealthy fixation came to a head with this series of embarrasing comments on my part:

OK, sorry to repost my previous thought, but I’ve revisited and elaborated on it. Here is what I make of all this purity and disgust hullabaloo:

Process for a conversation about homosexuality:

1) Each party must exercise self-honesty and grace. Self-honesty by admitting emotive biases to the other party (homophobes admitting disgust factor, homosexuals admitting tendency to react). Grace by being willing to overlook words or actions generated by the emotional biases of the other party in order to focus on what is really trying to be communicated.

2) After exercising self-honest/grace, a humanizing realization occurs about the other party and the ability to dismantle emotive biases and develop the ability to empathize is gained.

3) Each party allows the other party within the “Moral Circle” where each party is given the benefit of the doubt. Now finding each other on the same side of the battle against uncertainty, the unified body can proceed to ask the appropriate questions with the appropriate attitudes.

The danger with #3 is that sometimes people become so comfortable with the “Moral Circle” that instead of continuing to engage in the debate, the common denominator of held beliefs becomes watered down and the discussion dies off. A second danger would be to forget the ethics of the debate and let discussion degenerate into a fight which destroys the Moral Circle. The key is to expertly walk the tension between disagreement and remaining within the Moral Circle.

Not bad right? I mean here I am laying out a pretty good process for moving past the disgust factor in the debate surrounding homosexuality. I started having fantasies about subsequent commenters posting about how clear I made things, and how as far as they're concerned I've truly resolved the issue. My bubble was burst with the next commenter's post:

I prepared a beef stew this afternoon. I started by browning the meat in a skillet with sunflower oil. As the meat cooked I chopped up carrots, potatos, onions, zuchini, cabbage, and garlic. I placed these chopped vegetables in a colinder and washed away their impurities. By this time the meat was sufficiently cooked, so I put the chopped vegetables and meat in a pot, filled the pot with water, and added salt, parsely, basil, and beef bouillion. I brought the stew to a boil, then let it simmer. It has been cooking for 3 hours now, and in a few minutes I will eat my delicious dinner along with a large bottle of Stella Artois, a Belgian beer.

First off, you have to admit that this is a very strange place to be commenting on your dinner. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I began to think that this jerk was making fun of my step-by-step approach to the homosexuality issue at hand. I was deeply hurt! So hurt/angry in fact, that I responded rather hastily:

thanks JH. while quite hurtful to my pride, you make a good point that my comment was silly in its step-by-step format. next time i post a comment i will:

1) write as i normally do, which is in a very linear computer language sort of way which i have to do in order to grasp concepts because i’m slow.
2) ask you to rewrite it so that you can add that much more circular, flowing, and witty flair i’m so obviously lacking.

Can you taste the acid? I mean I really ripped this guy a new one. While still hurting, I felt a little vindicated by the wittiness of my reply. Ha ha ha ha! You can't best me! The next post made me want to vomit and hide under a rock:

Bryan, my comment had nothing to do with yours, be at ease. It was merely a matter-of-fact representation of the events of my afternoon, and an attempt to share the joy of cooking with my fellow commenters. The stew was delicious, btw, and I’m saving the remainder of it for a midnight snack tonight.

AAAAHHHHRRRRRGGG!!!!! I wanted to rip my head off and stomp on it. Here I was, preaching about how we should be giving homosexuals the benefit of the doubt, when I TOTALLY acted like a 3-year-old. I sheepishly tried to make ammends:

what was that about me saying we should give people the benefit of the doubt… sorry JH! guess that’s what i get for being overly concerned with my comments. embarrassing… glad your stew was yummy.

I don't think it worked. JH didn't reply, and to make matters worse, this embarrasing [globally public] exchange seems to have killed the debate about the much more important issue of homosexuality at hand. Now you can understand why I wanted to throw away my blog, my computer, the internet, and chop off my fingers. Grrr. Still makes me upset. Anyhoo, this confession is cathartic. JH, if you're out there, forgive this idiot. Provide me with closure. Or not. Maybe I need to swallow my just desserts and learn what this commenter had to say:

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires...

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless...

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.