One Way to Look at It: Making the Grade

My 8th grade algebra class hated me.  My teacher, Mrs. Marchesault, had a standard policy for grading all tests and quizzes: She set the second highest grade in the class to 100% and adjusted all grades accordingly.  As a high-achiever and someone who enjoyed algebra, I often earned one of the top grades.  “You are killing the curve!”, my classmates would complain, pushing me to answer incorrectly on purpose in order to close the gap between those of us who were doing well, and those who were struggling.  
 
They felt that my success made them look worse, and they didn’t like it. The focus wasn’t on better actual performance, just on a better grade.
 
We do that, don’t we?  We worry that the shining success of others is killing the curve.  We think that if an individual or family truly attains some measure of faithfulness or happiness, it highlights our own shortcomings in that area. There’s something that makes us feel that if nobody really knows all these answers, it’s okay that I can barely muddle through it. Then suddenly someone “gets it” and we’re back in the lower bracket, clawing for our sense of self, desperate to close the gap, even if it means damaging someone else to do it.
 
Surely you have seen this, probably online.  Someone makes sense, for themselves, of a Big Question and finds peace in how to live it out.  Suddenly there is an uproar of reactions ranging from “Just because that is true for you doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone else” and “Don’t presume to tell others how to live their lives” to “You thought that through completely wrong and therefore your conclusions are useless” to “No one wants to hear what you have to say anyway so keep it to yourself”.  It can get ugly, and fast.
 
It makes me sad. We are terrified of having our struggles made obvious and of proving to be less capable and polished than we are desperately trying to appear. In our panic, we tear down someone who is striving to get one more right answer because they know they have it in them.  We take a stance on every. single. thing. people. say so fast that we rarely stop to make sure we heard it right, or to consider if we should learn from it.  We fear that if they show God more faithfulness than we can muster right now, that God might suddenly realize how weak our faith truly is and all our efforts to keep Him dazzled by our performance will fail.
 
Oh, yeah, except they already have.
 
Want to know what I think the answer is? 
 
Stop caring about what other people think (which is what we really stress about when this whole comparison game starts blowing up).  Embrace the truth about yourself and then it won’t matter if anyone else strays from (or nails) an ideal formula, since you’ve already ditched it as a possibility.  
 
For example, here’s some truth about me:
I’m great at algebra and epically terrible with history. When asked who was President during the Civil War, I guessed Jefferson. No, I am not kidding. My brain just will not keep relevant pieces of historical information linked. It’s nuts.  But I can name characters in books that I read when I was a child. I’m weird like that. I keep my head on straight during a crisis, but you better do what I say because I start barking orders like nobody’s business. But throw me in the thick of clingy baby + 6 yo asking unending questions + 3 yo crying about glue on her fingers from homework and at best I’ll have clenched teeth and deep breathing; at worst I’ll be bellowing that everyone better calm down and get it together...you know, to make it easier for me to calm down and get it together.  Yeah, regular life is what gets to me. Oh, and I’m particularly organized and make lists and schedules, but send me into the store without my plan (even if I have spent hours looking over it) and my brain grinds to a halt.  I could have planned to cook hamburgers for lunch that same day and I’ll walk out the door without buns, only to realize it at the exact moment when I’m too far gone to turn around and go back.  And believe it or not, being a missionary doesn't magically make me all spiritual and shiny. I still go through a whole day without cracking open my Bible, and if I do take a moment to pause and attempt a focused prayer, it's likely that my brain will somehow end up strategizing how to most efficiently accomplish my tasks for the day…even though my three small children will inevitably derail any ideal plan I might concoct.
 
I don’t need anyone else to show me how I fall short.  I know that full well. I don’t need any reminders that I am in imperfect person in a broken world who is slogging through it all under the weight of daily life. What I need is a pat on the back and a reminder to keep pursuing Jesus through my flaws.
 
What we need is to live in grace, first recognizing it from God, then granting it to each other.  It is no longer about earning the best grade; none of us can anyway, so competition is pointless. God accepts imperfect attempts; let's be glad of that, for ourselves and each other.

Cafe Connection

In late 2011, we asked for help in funding a new facet of our work here in Arequipa, Café Connection.  Thanks to your help we were able to obtain a building for not just the cafe but that would also serve CUDA in a variety of ways.  We opened the cafe in February of last year in what we thought would be its home for a long time, but plans often change unexpectedly here and this was no exception.  Due to problems with the building’s ownership, we were forced to look for a new place, resulting in our current location in downtown Arequipa.  Strategically, this location is far superior and we feel blessed to have found it, and to have gotten such a good deal from the owner.  After only three months of regular operation in the new location, we are seeing more clients and higher sales than we had begun to have at the previous location.
 
This is important because we didn’t open the cafe just to have a place to hang out, nor to drink delicious coffee.  We opened this business to begin generating income for the organization as part of a long-term strategy of sustainability, and to open new avenues for spreading news of our social justice projects in Arequipa.  It is quite rewarding to see how far the cafe has come after a year in operation, especially considering that four months ago we changed location.  Already the cafe is nearing self-sustainability and with the added traffic of being downtown, the cafe workers are having lots of opportunities to share about CUDA projects.  Just today, a couple from Florida, who had visited the cafe yesterday and learned about us, dropped off books for the library program.  They had brought books with them to donate to a voluntourism agency, but after learning about our work yesterday decided to leave them with us.  We’ve made contact with other NGOs, tourist agencies, and businesses with whom we might partner, all thanks to the cafe.  The cafe has also served as a place for our churches to host events such as women’s meetings, parenting seminars and college student gatherings.  
 
So a big thank you to all of you who have prayed for Cafe Connection to be a success both financially and ministerially.  Keep praying!  Soon we’ll officially launch a language school, our next step toward keeping CUDA as self-sustaining as possible.  You can stay in the know by following CUDA and Cafe Connection on FB or Twitter.

One Way to Look at It: Light vs. Fire

If you ask a Christian what their responsibility is toward the world, many would use the image of light.  Thanks to the popular children’s song, we all know we need to let it shine and not hide it under a bushel or let the devil blow it out.  Jesus used this idea to clarify for his followers their purpose, which is the same for us now.  
 
Be a light.
 
What does that mean?  Well, what does light do?  It touches everything nearby, showing the truth of what it is.  Only in darkness can anything hide; light defines and causes nothing...it serves to illuminate the existing reality.  
 
The problem is when we attribute tasks to ourselves that have nothing to do with that task.  What does light not do?  It doesn’t cause change.  It doesn’t purify.  It doesn’t harm or benefit whatever it shines on, besides the natural consequence of being shown.  
 
Fire does that. Fire changes whatever it touches. Fire purifies. It does cause harm or benefit, depending on the substance. Light is the result of fire, not the other way around.  
 
God presents his power through fire throughout the Bible, as He led the Israelites through the wilderness as a pillar of flame.  The Bible describes God as a consuming fire when the Israelites are about to enter the Promised Land. His power over Baal is shown by the sheer force of the fire that He sent down to Elijah’s soaked altar after Baal failed to show up.  The Psalms use imagery of purification by fire.  Shadrach, Meshac and Abednego are unharmed by an extremely hot fire thanks to a holy presence.  
 
Being fire is God’s sphere.  Being light is ours, and even in that, we do best when we remember that we reflect Jesus and have nothing to show without Him. 
 
And yet it is easy to spend our effort and attention on trying to do God’s job.  I get it.  It’s natural that we would want things to be better, more in line with His kingdom. But He gave us our part to play and we would do well to trust Him with the rest.

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

— Paul, Ephesians 4:15

Development and Relief

The Christian Urban Development Association.  That is the name of our NGO.  This is where you consider skipping the rest of my article.  But seriously, have you stopped to consider what we decided to say through our name?  We are Christians who have, as a formal group, decided to work towards development in an urban setting.  Our urban setting is obvious (Arequipa) and our Christianity is worked into the way in which we carry out our work.  The hard part of our title to really capture is: Development.  Now there are a lot of definitions for what development (in our case international development) means: freedom, good change, advancement technologies and many many more.  What I find we have the hardest time explaining sometimes is why we’ve chosen development over relief, and if we will ever partake in relief work.
 
Where development generally carries a long-term outlook on it (community planning, basic services acquisition, health care provision, economic development, empowerment, etc.) relief is a here-and-now enterprise.  Handing out food in a famine-stricken country, rebuilding homes after an earthquake, feeding/housing families displaced by natural disaster or war, etc.  In any city like ours you will find groups dedicated to both causes.  In the poor neighborhoods surrounding the city, groups will hand out food, clothing, clean water, school supplies and other items to families that spend each day just trying to get to the next.  In these same neighborhoods, some groups will instead dedicate their time to community development and planning, training unemployed husbands and wives in skills to help them land a job, advocating on behalf of communities with no running water that the city would see their need and respond.  As an NGO we’ve chosen to focus on improving the education system in individual schools by teaching teachers how to teach (Nice, right?) and through empowering small-business owners with small, no-interest loans to help them take one step forward, and then another, and then another.  We have other long term projects in the works but they all fall into the long-term development spectrum and we have not had any desire to branch out into relief.
 
It is no surprise that often our desires are swayed by what we experience.  On February 8, the city of Arequipa experience its highest ever recorded rainfall of 4.8+ inches in just 5 hours time.  For a city that can go a whole year without receiving such a small amount of rain you, can imagine the consequences.  Slightly sloped streets became swiftly-flowing rivers two feet deep that could knock a grown man off his feet.  Car sized holes ripped open in the streets and, not surprisingly, cars fell into them.  The waterways/spillways throughout the city designed to keep streets clear ended up filled with mud and stone, causing water to spill out and the roads they were protecting to crumble and vanish into the flow.  We experienced this in my neighborhood where streets were “well-paved” and protected from rain.  In the poor neighborhoods on the mountainside where they have no paved roads, no drainage system and usually no electricity, the damage was less expensive but no less devastating for some families.  Houses filled up two or three feet high with mud ruining possessions and at times carrying them away completely.  Water and sewage pipes broke as the water took apart the ground itself, making it look like an earthquake had split the earth.  Some families came out of that storm just wet and cold.  Some families came out wet and cold realizing they had no food, clothing, blankets, or shelter.
 
In the face of this emergency situation, our organization is left trying to decide what we do.  While there is a way to “do relief” well, very often that does not happen.  While there is a way to do it well, we have no experience in this area.  Even still we are being stirred to some response for certain neighborhoods where we have a connection and would ask for your prayers and support as we assess what help we will provide to these families.  Since we have no money budgeted for emergency relief we will be seeking people to partner with us in our response.  I ask you to be praying, now, for how you might help one of your global neighbors in a time of need.  More information and details will be forthcoming and I appreciate your patience, prayers, and the support you all are always so faithfully extending to us.

Coming to Faith

This morning I finished reading the book of Mark with a dear friend that is in a journey of seeking. I cannot explain how exciting I find it to share the end of Mark's story with others. After reading the section of Jesus on the cross and his final words, I always turn the reader to Psalm 22 where Jesus is quoting, “My God, my God, Why have you forsaken me.” If you haven't read the Psalm in its entirety, take the time to read it. The final two verses always give me chill bumps in the context of sharing Jesus's story with someone:

“Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord, and proclaim his deliverance to a people yet unborn, saying that he has done it.”

— Psalm 22:30-31 (NRSV)

He has done it! Booyah (pardon my English expression from the nineties). There is a fire in my bones when I truly understand what it being communicated in those words.
 
We imagine hearing God's voice of authority at the baptism of Jesus. We read through the life of Jesus and imagine what it would be like to be a disciple following after this soon-to-be-King. We are in awe of Jesus's power over demons, sickness, nature, and death. We shake our heads as the disciples fail to get it time after time. We question what type of soil we are as we read through Jesus' parables. We internalize the message for ourselves as the man exclaims to Jesus, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” We sympathize with the followers as their leader is led away like a lamb to be slaughtered. We mourn with those women at the foot of the cross after they have witnessed a horrific death to a man of humility, compassion, and honor. We discuss the freedom we have in Christ and the barriers that have been removed when the curtain is split in two. We are in awe that the centurion, a Roman Gentile, is the first to confess Jesus' name after he breathes his last, but then we rejoice with the women that proclaim the news of the resurrection. We cling to hope that he does what has been promised since the days of old. For he has done it!
 
I explain to my friend that I want her to make a commitment to God. But I don't want her to commit from pressure she feels from me. I want her to feel the pressure from the Holy Spirit. It is her decision, and it is not a decision to take lightly. Taking up your cross to follow is not a walk in the park. We discuss making covenant with God in front of the family of God, and through the act of baptism that is such a powerful symbol of dying to self but being raised in Christ. We discuss the Holy Spirt and the meaning of circumcision of the heart. We mention “the kingdom of God” being here and now and not yet. I share why the phrase “freedom in Christ” is so special to Christians. She tells me she is so close to making this decision. She tells me she needs to read and reflect. We pray; we hug; we plan our next time together.
 
Coming to faith is the work of the Spirit. The Spirit transforms us. But he only is able to do his work completely when we are seeking. My friend is seeking. It is my prayer that I call her sister very soon, and then I will rejoice. For he has done it!

One Way to Look at It: Prayer

From where I stand at the kitchen sink, I can see into the laundry room through a window.  It is a clear view to where we have set up a small table for arts and crafts for the kids.  They color, cut, and draw to their hearts’ content.  I can see their work and hear their conversation.  I basically know what they’re up to anytime they are in there while I work in the kitchen, even without them telling me about it.  
 
I have heard criticism of the practice of of listing out prayer requests to then pray about, likening it to a family conversation around the dinner table, where the children discuss amongst themselves what they will say to their parents, then turn to deliver the information to them, even though the parents were present through the entire conversation already.  There is no need in this situation to delineate which part of the discussion was intended for them; they got the whole thing.  So why discuss prayer requests and follow it with a prayer that repeats it all?  Can God not hear the entire time? 
 
I have heard the opposite, that any discussion of prayer needs and life struggles deserves the blessing of purposeful prayer, to distinguish the need and response beyond a basic conversation between two people. In this instance, it is not about being necessary, but about lifting the conversation to a different plane, not for the purposes of informing, but of offering.
 
But there’s something else that is easily forgotten.  It is not just about what we say or how we say it, or if we frame it with a beginning and end or not, or if we use formal language or not.  It is about to Whom we talk.
 
I watch my kids do their projects and create their masterpieces.  I neither need information from them, nor do I need them to demonstrate the importance of their efforts.  However, I love that they value me enough to want to show me.  At my simple request to tell me about it, they are off and running, describing their choice of form, color, image, material, folding, staple placement...they love telling me, and I love hearing it.  It’s neither necessary nor merely holy.  It’s relationship.  I show them how I value their contribution by listening, and they show me how they value my knowledge of them by opening up and sharing.  Whatever they have done is made more real by our sharing of it.
 
And God is our Father.  Prayer should not be limited to informing Him of our troubles and our suggested solutions to them, with the caveat that He choose otherwise if He sees fit.  Nor should it be limited to a verbal sprinkling of holy water to deem a life experience officially handed over.  These two approaches focus too narrowly on what exactly we do and how we do it.
 
Remembering why we do it can make a huge difference.  
 
It’s about conversation with Someone close to us, eager to hear what we have to say, uninterested in eloquence or efforts to impress. Just talk to Him, discuss life, questions, frustrations, exciting experiences...everything.  Will you choose to include your desires and requests?  Sure.  Will you hand over your daily life as an offering as you share it?  Absolutely.  Those are good parts of prayer.  Just remember that He wants to hear about what you are drawing and what it means to you, too.  And as a good conversation with a close friend can result in us gaining clearer insight and understanding into our own experiences, so can a good, personal conversation with God help focus our vision and align our hearts more with His.